We, as US Americans, are about to break up with our abusive presidential relationship. We’ve told him he has to go, and he’s taking his time hearing it, but there’s a move-out date set. We’ve got a new president, who isn’t as abusive ready to go, and that is going to give us some space.
As we end this abusive presidential relationship, we have some processing to do. We need all the therapy, practice, ritual, communion, and magic that we can get to cleanse ourselves, heal our trauma, and release us from the ways we have become more co-dependent with our oppressors these past four years. We need to learn to recognize where our vision has shrunk as we’ve fought to survive and keep our beloveds alive and find a new expansiveness of what we think is possible.
If we don’t, we’ll only expect President Biden to do a little better than our former abuser, and that will still be abuse. If we don’t, we know we’ll be susceptible to another abusive relationship, and the next one might be the one that kills us (as we acknowledge that though we survived these past 4 years, there are many who did not). A lot is at stake with climate change happening now and threatening our existence, with white supremacy, patriarchy, homophobia, ableism and all forms of oppression literally killing us.
Many of us are experiencing normal reactions right now. Maybe, like me, you unexpectedly burst into tears watching the speeches of the new vice president and president elects, as some of the trauma loosened up a little bit. Or maybe you are feeling numb, or feeling dread that something will go wrong, or feeling just an overall heaviness. These are reactions from the trauma of these last four years that is being held in our bodies.
We aren’t the only ones experiencing trauma. The people who voted to keep the abuser are also traumatized. Many of them are having reactions to side with their abuser so they don’t have to feel the pain of the abuse. If they can buy into the rhetoric enough and see themselves on the side that is doing the berating, then they don’t have to feel like they are on the side that is being abused day after day. They are susceptible to another abuser who runs for the job if they don’t get the supports they need to be able to re-ground themselves, get less triggered, and see what has been happening to them.
Because it is the job of white people to undo white supremacy, as anti-racist white people, we have an important task at hand. It is easy to ignore our trauma and to distance ourselves from the 72 million people who voted for Trump. But, what if we can heal enough that we can set supportive boundaries for ourselves without distancing from other white people? What if we can create the conditions for healing to really happen for all of us? I believe we need to try.
I’m not sure how we do this… but I want to try an experiment. I want us all to try experiments. I want our creativity and resilience to help us find possibilities. I want our collaboration and mutual aide to support us as we share our healing recipies. I want us not to wait for perfection to try.
So, here’s my first experiment.
It's 2 group sessions and 1 individual session of coaching in between for up to 8 people. We'll do some visualizations, some sharing as a group, some accessible embodied exercises, some healing and witnessing, and some individual practices of trauma release. To register, you'll sign up for the two dates, fill out an intake form, and pay the fee of $500 for the program. Contact me to arrange a payment plan or to ask about sliding scale spots available. Separately, you'll schedule the individual coaching session.
Let me know if you have questions - and I'll share about what happens and try a next experiment after this one. And, I'd love to hear about your experiments, too!